at least I'm on my own again,
instead of-
anywhere with you.
I'm tired of the silence. I'm tried of a ship not coming in. I read recently that when we try and things don't turn out how we wished/truly worked for it is our past negative selves/bullshit trying to keep us down.
My bullshit is extra potent and on point! Ironically, I should take advice from it as to how to succeed.
Looking at job posts at night is never a good idea. It just bums me out. What would the longest sigh in the world sound like...
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
It's all my fault isn't it? It is me. Not my CV, not my cover letter.
It is the fact that I know what I want to do and am just to scared and full of shit to do, to even just start.
I've known; I've known for a long time and I just keep running. I wonder what would happen if I just stopped trying to leave and tried focusing on making shit happen here? God I really hate it here. And I sincerely wish I did not.
Everything's just great, oh I just can't remember...
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