How old is too old to have a crush on someone? What about a crush on someone at work?
When do you stop believing in faith and "the one" and holding out for something better than, "good enough?"
Today I met someone I really liked, became smitten, dreamt up 10 scenarios of a nice life together; went to the opera and received a message from someone I think (thought?) I am in love with… well, okay someone I really like. A blast from my past. Someone who lives 3,000 miles away now, who comes and goes, who even when we lived in the same borough as one another was nothing more than sporadic and aloof to my clueless girlish obsessed dork. Yet lately he's been popping up more, randomly checking in, becoming an actual presence somehow.
He is so hot. They are both so hot.
I am so sick of liking people, of falling when no one falls for me. Why does no one go dumb and silly over me? Long story short- far away guy wrote today to say he is likely visiting this weekend. Why this weekend out of all the weekends? Why now that I have found a new object for my affection? I hear its the universe testing me to see if I am ready for new prospects. I am. Universe, I am.
But I also cannot NOT see this guy… We are friends, if nothing else. I do love his body, if nothing else. It has been too long, if nothing else. We've had a thing since 2011, if nothing else. And this new man, no matter how wonderful, is just new. A new stranger I am smitten with who perhaps hasn't given me a second thought, but oh how I wish he would.
They are both named Michael. And if anyone asked I'd choose LA Michael over NY Michael.
At least tonight.
I'm aiming for rational now. Not that logic has any business here.
Because I don't want to be lonely, I don't' want to be out all night… waiting for you.
ps- If I looked like that in short-shorts I'd never wear pants again. Get it, Cookies girl!
pss- I am so obsessed with this band and this song and this album. Check them out, please! Cookies are so great! And this song is kinda exactly it.
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