I've been waiting too long, I've been waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

How old is too old to have a crush on someone? What about a crush on someone at work?

When do you stop believing in faith and "the one" and holding out for something better than, "good enough?"

Today I met someone I really liked, became smitten, dreamt up 10 scenarios of a nice life together; went to the opera and received a message from someone I think (thought?) I am in love with… well, okay someone I really like. A blast from my past. Someone who lives 3,000 miles away now, who comes and goes, who even when we lived in the same borough as one another was nothing more than sporadic and aloof to my clueless girlish obsessed dork. Yet lately he's been popping up more, randomly checking in, becoming an actual presence somehow.

He is so hot. They are both so hot.

I am so sick of liking people, of falling when no one falls for me. Why does no one go dumb and silly over me? Long story short- far away guy wrote today to say he is likely visiting this weekend. Why this weekend out of all the weekends? Why now that I have found a new object for my affection? I hear its the universe testing me to see if I am ready for new prospects. I am. Universe, I am.

But I also cannot NOT see this guy… We are friends, if nothing else. I do love his body, if nothing else. It has been too long, if nothing else. We've had a thing since 2011, if nothing else. And this new man, no matter how wonderful, is just new. A new stranger I am smitten with who perhaps hasn't given me a second thought, but oh how I wish he would.

They are both named Michael. And if anyone asked I'd choose LA Michael over NY Michael.

At least tonight.

I'm aiming for rational now. Not that logic has any business here.




Because I don't want to be lonely, I don't' want to be out all night… waiting for you.

ps- If I looked like that in short-shorts I'd never wear pants again. Get it, Cookies girl!
pss- I am so obsessed with this band and this song and this album. Check them out, please! Cookies are so great! And this song is kinda exactly it.

ugh. ugh to the nth degree.

pretty much

15 days of being displaced. I miss my bed. I miss having my own space. I miss a routine. I am much too old for futons and eating take out everyday, much to my dismay. 

Just once I'd like to experience a solid period of time where I am settled somewhere, doing good work, and living the life a normal, well adjusted person of my age.

Any day now. 

I am also pretty fed up of noncommittal shit from dudes who are presumably interested in me. I've played that long enough. Step up or get the fuck out of my way.

We've had 100 degree plus days for almost a week now, I am sure that is only adding to my fed up-ness (real word) and day long migraine… Hearing about Google Analytics for an 3 hours and being stuck in traffic all day sure as fuck don't help. Just when I think I am willing to fall in love with LA driving up Wilshire is sure to squash that real fast. Yesterday was pretty as punch and I took a few photos to prove it. Too bad the love affair will never last LA. At the end of the day we are too different.  I want to do shit, do it quickly, and not be bogged down at left hand turns.

I really fucking hate turning left at intersections. Major anxiety.

   

it's not right, but it's now or never

Big things are coming.

Autorretrato by Rocio Montoya

Big,

fat,

scary,

AMAZING THINGS.

I don't know if I am ready or not, but I don't care because it just feels like I am.

Even if it is a faux feeling I don't care… it is enough. 

Finally.

  

Me. In more ways than one. (Try three)

"In LA all you need is a little ingenuity and a lot of nerve."
-Mario in Smog (1962)

[Great, yet widely unknown and difficult to track down Italian film by 
Franco Rossi set in LA of the early 60s. Worth a view for the cityscapes 
alone, but the Chet Baker soundtrack and funny dialogue, not to mention
requisite Italian charm only add to its appeal. If you ever come across 
it or a screening, WATCH IT!]

The king of all fruits

Have you guys noticed how pineapples are totally having a moment this summer?

Me

It's not hard to see why. They look good, smell good, taste good and are aesthetically perhaps the most interesting of the sexy fruits. Not to mention the humble pineapple is THE KING OF ALL FRUITS.

Me

Me

Me

Historically, pineapples in design symbolized hospitality. In the past century or so I'd say they got a kitsch value association thanks to surf and tiki culture. This new wave of pineapple love seems earnestly inspired by the cool aesthetics of the fruit and the digital print trend in fashion only lends itself to interesting motifs.

Here are some of my favorite pineapple design iterations --

This pineapple wallpaper in ebony by Rifle Paper Co.

I would love this in a powder room or on a single feature wall in larger room.

This pineapple lamp found on Horchow.

Nice and clean- I'd love this on a small table in a foyer. 

 A sweet set of these brass pineapples. The larger ones can be used as ice buckets on a bar cart!

via Etsy

via Etsy

Can't beat anything with a glint finish! 

These adorable prints by Kendra Dandy from Bouffants and Broken Hearts, most available on her Society6 page.  

Kendra Dandy

Kendra Dandy

Kendra Dandy

Kendra Dandy

All hail the king of fruits!

via

hey guys...

we still like it when you bring us flowers on dates.

Just sayin'. Just so you know.

Some traditions should be kept.

But thanks for wearing clean shirts and paying for dinners and not smelling gross.

God dating sucks. Down the rabbit-hole I go again.

dead heat

It has been nice and hot lately. Extremely hot. These last legs of summer and August always bring a nice sense of nostalgia of being a kid, playing with my sister and cousins, being outdoors all day and night, and just general fun and warmth of having a good time with people you love and love you back. 

When I was 20 I visited Guatemala for the last time. It is a heartbreakingly beautiful country in an even more heartbreaking state of poverty, corruption, and crime with yet the kindest, warmest people you'll ever meet. My father is Guatemalan and from as long as I can remember being conscious I have been extremely proud of my background and Mayan roots- as in being the obnoxious third grader who writes every report about the Maya and won't STFU about the time she visited Tikal last summer. 

Early 20th century photo from the National Geographic blog

I have anxious to visit again. For several months now, even heading back to last year I have been trying to make it happen but unfortunately always seem to be thwarted by some circumstance out of my control. My calendar is looking busy for the next couple of months, but I am officially planning to head down in November. I just decided about 10 minutes ago that I will make this happen no matter how hard it is, so you heard it hear first. 

from La Selva blog 

 from La Selva blog 

The culture in Guatemala is so rich. Textiles especially seem to be an artesian speciality and a national treasure. Each small village and indigenous clan has its own pattern that is weaved into the textiles produced by said clan using colors specific to the area. Indigenous women weave everything by hand, and more amazing and awe-inspiring, they do it all by memory or freehand; they do not work from pre-designed guides or instruction booklets. The process is long, a weaver can take up to 3 months to produce a blouse known as a huipil, but the results are stunning.   

I cannot wait to visit some weaving workshops when I am next in Guatemala. I should start a Guatemalan textile collection!

I recently discovered a beautiful line of contemporary clothing made using traditional Guatemalan textiles resulting in gorgeous pieces I cannot wait to get my paws on! La Selva is based in New York but sources all their textiles from indigenous weavers in Guatemala and even donates a portion of each sale to Guatemala's  National Textile Museum! Can this brand be any cooler? Check out some of my favorite pieces, the first of which is an example of an huipil in my favorite color palate. I am seriously head over heels!    

 from La Selva site

 from La Selva site

Through La Selva I also discovered Molantico, an Australian brand that makes shoes using textiles from Guatemala among other countries. I am partial to their Guate boots, but I may be biased. Check out their amazing work-

 from the Molantico site